I am sitting on a beanbag. In the middle of a party. There is beer pong. With all of my friends. Having a great time. Or am I? I get an overwhelming urge to write down what I am feeling and what I am thinking. I have no pen or paper. So I email myself from my phone. Unadulterated. Raw. I am not having fun.
I have a confession to make. I was sitting on that beanbag a week ago. I haven't blogged in 6 days. I am not going to beat myself up over it. I am human. It happens. But I hope it doesn't happen again. Reality is. It probably will.
Wirlwind does not even begin to describe my past week. I found myself feeling a combination of Island fever. Hung over. Unmotivated. Emotional. Unfulfilled. Unworthy. Plus a whole host of other things. Like I have said. When you delve in to yourself. You feel more. Pleasant or unpleasant.
I wrote it all down. Purged it all out. Tears and all. Then got a surge of clarity. I need to leave the Island. I need to shake things up. I need to go to India. So I applied for my Indian visa online. Booked a flight to Singapore to regroup. Packed up my little house and smoke bombed it. I didn't have it in me for goodbyes.
So here I am. Sitting on Mikes couch in Singapore. Downsized my big 17kg backpack down to one 8kg carry on. I am taking living simply to a whole new level this time. I am getting better at removing excess baggage. In all aspects of my life. When you remove the excess baggage, you have space to see and hear what the heart really wants.
I fly out to Delhi tomorrow morning and make the trek up North to the gateway of the Himalayas. Rishikesh. The Yoga hub of the world. I hope to come out of it with more insight in to my inner world. More insight in to other people. More knowledge on the art of Yoga. More love and experience to offer my beautiful Yogi students. Plus other golden nuggets that I could not even possibly begin to dream up. See that's the thing about travelling and making the journey inward. You always come back with more than you bargained for.
See you all in the land of the Spirit.