"As I sit on the beach with Danni, a fire, a drum and a moon the night before it is full, I feel peace. Rising over the horizon it is round, large and full. Peaking through the mountains of clouds. The sky and the underside of the clouds a purple hue from the sunset behind us. The water even tinted with the purpleness of the sunset. Funnily enough I am wearing purple bikinis. Not often a colour I am drawn to usually. As the moon continues to rise, Danni starts beating the drum, the water settles and the moon reflection is a stream towards the shore. The tide is coming in and just about brushing the fire, but not quite. Just before it brushes the fire it is pulled back in to the ocean. I am completely present in this moment. Feeling the beauty of the energy of the Universe."
Something was unlocked within me in December last year when I went to see a kinesiologist in Perth. On my plane ride home I was so compelled to write down everything I was feeling that I grabbed a sick bag from the seat pocket and poured everything out. It was as if it was not me. Channeling from somewhere deeper. This has been happening to me over the past few days. It has been laying dormant since then. I am on fire!
I really do try and live in the present moment as much as I can. But I could do better. Drinking myself stupid doesn't help. The more I do it. Be present that is. The more it becomes a new habit. Kicking out the habit of living in the past and kicking out the habit of living in the future.
I have been feeling like I need to leave this beautiful island. It is too much fun. I am not being productive. I am not growing enough spiritually. I need more. I caught myself this morning. Caught myself making some stupid excuse to leave. To run away from myself. To go searching for something that I feel I don't have. So I sat with it. Looked it straight in the eye. I saw it exactly for what it was. An excuse. Built on my old friend fear. The only place I can find what it is that I am looking for is right here. Right here in this very moment.
So here I will continue to sit. In this present moment. The only thing we really have.